People With Unresolved Parent-Child Conflict. What a child learns or experiences in their early years is known to leave a lasting impression on them. Whether a child is two, twelve or sixteen years old, it would be unusual for him or her to be "fear-free." As a child matures, old fears are overcome, and new fears arise to take their place. Living things fear what is physically bigger and appear more powerful than them. Those with parents can be particularly trying -- especially as an adolescent. When your child is afraid -- whether at age 5 or 15 -- remember to approach the fears with respect. For example, clinical psychologists Seth Meyers and Preston Ni explain how the actions of the parents can ruin the lives of their children. A child's demeanor is also a reflection of how they've been treated by their parents. Parents are a child's first teachers in life. The Divorce Coach Says. This was the top fear of the parents in our survey. What do you do in a situation like this? Psychologists and child behavior specialists can help us tell the difference between ungrateful children from those who have been victims of a toxic influence. Some people experience conflicts with parents early in life that carry over through the years. When the angry parent says/does things to turn the child away from the parent things become complicated. Here is … Fear comes with us as a survival mechanism, to keep us alive. The Fear: I'm afraid my child won't get the education and opportunities she needs to reach her potential. Interestingly, children of similar ages tend to share similar types of fears. Be realistic about child custody battles. Some level of conflict is a given component of all relationships. Know what your possible courses of action are – there’s civil action and there’s action through your state’s child protection services. The child, due to loyalty to both parents and typically fear of the angry parent… This surprised us, given that we polled the parents of relatively young children. Not only are they being frightened and hurt but the parent, upon whom they rely for comfort and regulation is lost to them, at least temporarily, as a source of solace and support. Fear that your child won’t love you if you set limits on him is something many parents have a hard time with, especially when their child is old enough to say, “I don’t love you—I hate you!” But, again, if you give that behavior power, it’s not going to change. Fear-based parenting comes in various shades, depending partly on the types of fears most prominent in the parents’ minds and partly on the parents’ personalities and economic means. A child's attitude, views, goals, and perspective depend on what he or she learns from their parents. Chansky suggests following these basic guidelines: Don't try to talk your child out of being afraid. 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